Letter received after buying 60oz. jug of cheap vodka
It’s me, Liver. I know we’ve been through some rough shit in the past, and I’ve always been there to bail you out. Without much thanks or acknowledgement I’ve helped save your life time and time again, putting myself out there and absorbed all the shit you fed yourself. But this, this industrial-sized container of poison, this “wodka” you recently acquired, this is it. The last straw. I’m writing you this to inform you that I will no longer be able to perform my job as “poison filter”. You’re on your own now, Jeremy. I’m not sure Kidneys and pancreas are too pleased either, but hey, you still have spleen! That stupid blob of flesh is too dumb to know any different.